Hey friends—this is long overdue.
Back in January, I posted a video to YouTube talking about writing my way to wealth. I also said I’d be uploading twice a week.
I have not done that.
Here’s what has happened.
It’s a long story, but I left my part-time job at the end of January.
I wanted to leave—but also didn’t. It was a great place to work, the work wasn’t hard, and the people were great and honestly, the founders were some of the sweetest people I’d ever met. There were just too many things going on: new major tenant, multiple renovations, a new space, poor systems, etc.
Also, they hadn’t paid me in 3 months.
I knew there were cashflow issues, but I also can admit to feeling some kind of way because they apparently had money somewhere for renovations. They kept saying the money was coming, and then they called me into a meeting. I thought it was to address the overdue funds and maybe talk through a payment plan.
Instead, they told me I was a bad employee.
Apparently, I was disrespectful to management and had poor customer service skills. And I’m not gonna lie—that one hurt. Every job or engagement I’ve ever been a part of has complimented my customer service. Their clients and visitors complimented my customer service. But I understood it to be the tactic that it was. Because the very next thing they brought up was reducing my hourly rate.
When one of the founders first approached me in 2022, they agreed to a rate. And since this wasn’t the first—or even the second—time they’d had trouble paying me, every time they asked me to increase my hours, I asked if they wanted to reduce my hourly rate. They always said no.
But now I’m suddenly a bad employee and costing the company too much? Cool.
What’s extra irritating is they never told me what the new rate was. All through January, I asked both founders what the new rate would be, and it was always, “Oh, we have to think about it.” So when it was time to submit my hours, I had to come up with a new rate—less than half the original one they agreed to. I only chose it because it was close to the rate they threw out in that meeting.
When i asked God about it, after a very weird dream that made me question ever going to sleep again. God showed me that I’m actually fine with people taking advantage of me if their need seems greater than mine. okay…ow.
The very next day I told one founder I won’t be back the next month. That was the end of January.
When I left, they had just made a payment for October. As of today, they still owe me part of December and all of January.
Since I left the job that allowed me to cowork, and I felt I needed some space from that atmosphere for a bit, I started looking for other places to work from.
I have a desk and office chair at home, and it’s where I’ll probably do most of my writing and recording, but it isn’t always conducive to work there.
I live with family, including my four-year-old nephew, in a neighborhood that can be very noisy. We’re on the main residential street, and a new takeaway/convenience store just opened directly across the street. They love blasting music at all hours of the day and night.
So I needed somewhere to work.
I like working in Starbucks, but the tables are small and it can be distracting seeing people walk in and out all the time.
Then I found out that our libraries actually have free Wi-Fi—and I love it. I’ve visited a few of them and found my favorites, even though they are all identical on the inside.
Apparently, each library has a media room that can be used for meetings or recording, but most of them use it as storage. One library said I would need to write a letter—not an email, a physical letter—to the head of all libraries in the country to request permission to use it.
Another one let me use their media recording room with no hassle. That’s why it’s my favorite.
I’ve also spent a few days working out of a local entertainment center that has a coffee shop-type setup and an outdoor patio, which is nice—but it can be crowded some days. I hope these people never realize they can work in the libraries. More quiet space for me.
I had been hearing the instruction to leave the job since around September/October, but I thought it was more like “prepare to leave,” and so I did. I spent time trying to figure out what kind of business I could go into that would sustain me while I worked on the musical and other creative projects.
First, I thought about nonprofit consulting using my copywriting and previous funding-writing experience. That turned into helping nonprofits package their expertise into digital products that could diversify their resource mobilization.
That turned into helping small businesses and entrepreneurs package, promote, and profit from their expertise with digital products and books—so they could give more.
Then I thought about how the core of what I do is help people identify and leverage their story through content creation and digital products. Then I thought about how I don’t have much proof of all these things except content creation, but I didn’t want to do that, so I focused on what I could leverage quickly: digital product creation.
I thought it fit, because God’s instruction to me was “Write” and “Create content.” So I thought creating and selling digital products counted as content creation.
But no matter how I tried—it wouldn’t work.
I felt no peace. I was constantly stressed out. My anxiety was through the roof. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read my Bible. I was losing my whole mind.
It wasn’t until I considered (again) that this is exactly the same thing I did before God told me to shut my business down. I realized it wasn’t working because God didn’t want it to work.
It wasn’t what He had for me. And because of that, it can work for everyone else—but never for me.
And that’s maddening.
If God says no to something, there’s nothing you can do on this side of eternity or the next to change His mind.
But we digress.
I didn’t realize I valued the security that having multiple digital products selling passively would bring me over the instruction of God.
That’s a hard pill to swallow.
I spent much of that time chasing an idea God didn’t give me—researching everything but what I needed to be focusing on.
Which leads me to trying to go viral.
Honestly, the less said about this, the better.
I got sucked into the vortex of “become a full-time content creator” content on TikTok and quite frankly lost myself and my way. It wasn’t cute, and I’d love if we could all collectively forget the whole thing.
I both tried very hard and didn’t try at all.
I won’t tell you how much money I spent on content creation kits, hook templates, masterclasses, etc. Just know that it was enough.
The thing is—and this is a rant I’ll probably go on in a later video—content creation is not going to look the same for everyone.
I think I got so swept up because there isn’t much content on creating content as a creative—someone who is building something outside of their online brand.
I never knew how involved my back muscles were in everyday life until I couldn’t even lift an arm without severe back pain.
How did this happen? I don’t know.
I know I was trying to affect a neutral spine while walking and sitting (since I have an anterior pelvic tilt), while also trying to walk and stand more. And I honestly wasn’t doing much stretching. I was doing a lot more sitting than usual—especially compared to when I worked at the event space and before I got my car.
I also don’t have any footage of that time because, to be frank, I was trying to shut out my anxiety by scrolling through TikTok. It’s all I did for nearly three weeks.
Sure, after about a week I got up and tried to get back into work—but that set me back another week because the pain when I got up and the next day was incredible.
One day, about two and a half weeks in, I needed to get out of the house, so I went to the beach. Honestly—it was incredible. Something about fighting for my life walking across the sand gave my back so much joy that I was able to be upright for most of the next day, which was important because it was my friend’s fashion show.
And the next day was my best friend’s birthday. Again, no footage because I forgot to film.
Honestly, most of this time I was either in so much pain or on so much pain medication that the thought of filming didn’t even cross my mind. Thankfully, my girlies love a photo opp and shimmy, so I have those.
I’m treating my body better.
I’m allowing myself to eat without guilt (I have an issue with food and eating—it’s a thing).
I’m stretching more, particularly my hips. I want to work out more, but I hate sweating—so stay tuned on what I decide. Maybe swimming… or my version of swimming, anyway.
I’m laying down when I need to. My back isn’t 100% yet, although it is loads better.
I’ve decided that I am going to write my way to the wealth I desire.
If I am good at writing and good at video, and I have a mandate from God to do both, then by golly—that’s what I’m going to do.
That means writing the musical and seeing that through. It’s a huge vision, and I think that’s one of the reasons I found it so hard to work on.
To that end, I’m reading a few books on musicals, and I’m actively working on completing the script.
Another plan is to write serial fiction and post to YouTube—both as shorts and full-length stories.
Christian fiction adventure novels posted for free on YouTube. I can also sell the books for low rates and use the success of those stories to promote my larger novels.
Another plan I have is to continue with my regularly scheduled YouTube content.
I’ve discovered the beauty of routines—and planned to make some with my mentor.
Tuesdays and Saturdays are my dedicated musical writing days. Wednesdays are my scripting days. Thursdays will be my filming day. Fridays are dedicated to ghostwriting assistant projects.
Only one is active so far, but that may change at any time.
This means I have a content creation schedule so I can get back to my weekly upload schedule of Tuesdays and Fridays.
I’ve decided on a couple different series you can look forward to:
All in all, I’m committing to sharing more.
If you want to see how this musical unfolds, subscribe below and hit the notification bell so you know when I upload.
Happy Friday!
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